An Open Letter to Disabled People

Dear disabled friends: You are not a burden. For disabled people, navigating an inaccessible society is an everyday reality. When we request changes, we are made to feel like an inconvenience. When a building is inaccessible, we feel like the problem. When we ask for help on public transportation, we are met with disapproval.

We find ourselves apologizing when we ask a friend, family member, or coworker to assist us with something because we believe we are an inconvenience. Does this sound familiar? I’ve been involved in all of these at some point. And I’m guessing you have as well. Disabled people are not being awkward or difficult; we are doing what we must in order to complete a task, do our jobs, or get from point A to point B independently.

Dear fellow disabled individuals: You are not an imposition. Everyone has been there. Feeling as if you are the ‘problem’. Not doing anything to make life easier for others. When people don’t treat you like a human being, you feel awkward. Reasonable adjustments or accommodations must be justified. Guilt creeps in when you say no to a fun project because your health comes first.

Aside from that, your health should always come first. Concerned that you’re asking too much when someone goes out of their way to ensure your participation in an activity. Each of these things makes you feel like a burden. We’d all like to be able to lock those feelings away, never to be seen again. We wish we could! Society is not easily accessible. It is not designed with disabled people in mind.

Accessibility is frequently viewed as additional work rather than the true extent to which it enriches our lives and makes us feel. From navigating a broken education system to wishing employers would give you a chance to advance your career, to having to ask someone to stop what they’re doing and click a button on a website for you because it’s inaccessible – it’s no surprise that disabled people feel burdened at times.

We are viewed as a problem because we do not fit the mold of today’s society. That has changed over time. We would not feel this way if society was fully accessible and inclusive. We’ve come a long way in the last few years. Fortunately, society is becoming more open. However, there is still a long way to go. We’ve all experienced the anxiety of being a source of annoyance or inconvenience to others.

Those feelings can be heightened in disabled people. If you’ve ever felt that way, remember this: disabled people are not and will never be a burden. Remind yourself of those words whenever those emotions take over. Most of the time, the situations that cause us to feel this way are beyond our control.

You should not feel burdened for expressing your needs, asking for assistance from time to time, or requesting reasonable adjustments. You’re just doing what you have to, which is often just enough to get by. What if we could break the cycle of feeling like a burden? There’s no denying that for some people, this could change their perspective on their disability. That would be a game-changer.

To be honest, I wish I had been able to get rid of those feelings sooner. I’ve gotten a lot better at advocating for myself over the years. I’ve come a long way in terms of feeling comfortable discussing my disability. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ll take insults on the chin. Don’t get me wrong: I’ll still apologize when I don’t have to. That one is still in the works.

One thing that has become clear over time is my shift in how I feel when I am confronted with critical comments. That shift has given me a more positive outlook on my disability. When I advocate for my rights, I am confident because I know it is the right thing to do. I don’t want to be perceived as the issue or the difficult one. Nobody does.

As much as we want to turn these feelings off and push them to the side, the switch is easily flipped. People with disabilities are made to feel like they are the problem. However, we are not the problem here. The main problem is that we live in a world that was never intended for us. Our future is made up of disabled young people who are growing up today.

Surely we owe them the assurance that, contrary to popular belief, they are not a burden? That burden should not be placed on anyone’s shoulders. They should be able to confidently advocate for what they are entitled to without fear of being perceived as difficult by others. They should be able to travel whenever and wherever they want.

They should never feel as if they are carrying the burden of being disabled in today’s society. To get the next generation of disabled people to believe those facts, we must first believe them ourselves. I understand how difficult that can be at times. When you’re confronted with those unpleasant feelings, remember that the reasoning is most likely beyond your control.

You are not a bad disabled individual. You are not failing the community. When we are unable to fully participate in a class because work has not been put into an accessible format, our only option is to muddle through. We are not the problem when our job application is pushed to the side because the prospective employer believes it is too ‘expensive’ or ‘time-consuming’ to hire a disabled person.

We aren’t the issue when we want to go out for a meal with our friends, and the restaurant we want to go to doesn’t have a ramp, forcing us to resort to plan B. When we are denied access, we are not the problem. Do you see where I’m going with this? People with disabilities contribute to society. In relationships, we each play an equal role. We live happy, successful lives.

So, the next time you feel like a burden, ask yourself what is causing you to feel that way. Feel empowered knowing that you’re doing your best, which is always enough. What are your thoughts on feeling like a burden as a disabled person? Do you have any suggestions?